when life gets too crazy

It's been a while since I last blogged. Things have got crazy busy over the last few weeks, pretty much since I got back from holiday and I've barely had chance to enjoy my pregnancy let alone do anything else!

I'm frantically working on my literature review for my next supervision this week, and need to begin developing some sort of typology of knowledge brokers by sort of integrating other peoples theories and coming up with something new that I can call my own. If that fails I've got another route to go down for finding something novel I can research for the next 3 years, but time really is of the essence so IF I can nail this typology this week, I might just about stay on track. Theres not much more to add to this stage of the lit review - there is more but that can come after xmas. I just need to get my head around what exists in terms of theory so I can mash it all together for my typology and then some of the background type stuff I need - like what is knowledge? and all that philosophical stuff - can be worked on over xmas.

I've got supervision this week and then another 2 weeks after that so it'll be pretty difficult for me to turn anything impressive around in between them, especially considering I've got 3 days of lectures next week. The module is called 'Developing Management Research' and as part of the module, were asked to present for 10 minutes on our PhD research, answering specific questions so we're all talking about the same sorts of thing. The assignment is then a 2000 word write up of what we talk about in the presentation, so as long as I get that right, it'll hardly take any time at all to write up. We'll be able to discuss it in supervision this week so then I'll be on the ball and know exactly what I'm doing.

Oh speaking of assignments - the marks l for the Research Design and Philosophy module came back and I got an A along with some really positive feedback so I'm very pleased about that. Hopefully I can keep the standard up for the upcoming assignment, especially considering thats all I'm doing this year as I'm exempt from two and the other runs the week the babys due so I'm probably taking that next year, as I'm pretty sure potentially being in labour is good enough grounds for extenuating circumstances!

On top of all my uni work, I've got 4 craft shows coming up over the next fortnight with MollyQueen (the business my neighbour and I set up a few months back which I may not have mentioned before). It great that we've got them, and we've done really well at the last couple, but it's just bad timing as I could do without the stress of preparing for those as well as having to do uni work. Mums on holiday at the moment so I've been staying at her house and having very limited sleep as the dog is really restless during the night and he wakes up really early in the morning. Its like having the baby here already, just without the breastfeeding and with more barking! He is very sweet, and taking him out for walks gives me the chance to get some much needed exercise and to collect all my thoughts, but he's very needy, and has to eat everything I'm eating so I'm yet to complete a full meal in peace without having to give him some.

We've got our birthing classes this coming saturday. I've decided that I want to use hypnobirthing - I'll explain more about it in the next blog after the classes - and am consequently going on a special course to learn the techniques I can practice before labour. It's something thats become very important to me as it reaffirms everything I think about pregnancy and childbirth - all the ideas it talks about were things that I felt and believed in anyway so its fantastic that I've discovered a method that allows me to embrace it. I described it to one of my friends and she referred to it as 'Earth mother-y' which I guess is a good way of referring to it. She wasn't as sceptical as many other people have been as her mum used similar techniques with 2 of her babies so she's much more open minded to different ideas. My mum, some of my friends and my partner are a little less convinced - He refers to it as 'wishy washy airy fairy' but says I can do as much of it as I like, just as long as I'm doing it in a hospital. I have to respect that as it's his baby too and I want him to feel comfortable about the birth as much as possible, but if it was entirely up to me, I'd be having a home birth. He has agreed to come to the classes though, and is quite keen on being my birth partner, so hipefully he can buy into the whole thing as its really important he's behind it 100%. More to come on this next blog...

The pregnancy in general is going well. Bump is getting bigger, the midwife is pleased with its progress - at the last appointment she measured it for the first time and said it was slightly below average for the amount of weeks I was, but not to worry as theres plenty of time for baby to grow and we only need to be concerned if its not growing at the right rate. I heard the heartbeat, which was just wonderful. It's a shame He couldn't be there, but he should be at the next one coz college has broken up for christmas by then, and I'm sure she'll let us have another listen. As bumps getting bigger I'm finding it much harder to get comfortable, particularly at night and when I'm sitting on the sofa. I'm struggling to put my shoes on coz I can't really reach my feet properly anymore without it feeling a bit painful - and the worst thing is the HORRIBLE HORRIBLE heartburn I've been getting. It doesn't matter what I eat, how often I eat, how big the portions are, what I drink, if I don't drink at the same time, if I lie down too soon, nothing seems to make any difference, its just constantly there, niggling away. Especially in the evenings. I've been drinking gaviscon like its water and taking no end of tablets to try and keep it under control, but I think this is something I'm just going to have to cope with. I did get away with no morning sickness so maybe this is the horrible part I have to put up with. I don't know which I would prefer as sometimes the heartburn is so bad it actually makes me sick :(

I had a a bit of a scare the other day, as for weeks now the baby has had a really regular routine of when it moves around and I can feel it kicking etc. Well I hadn't felt it for a day or so and after lying awake all night desperately trying to feel something, and thinking the worst had happened, I rang the midwife who said I should go to the hospital just to make sure everything was ok - which it was. We had a good listen to it's heartbeat, which was all ok and the baby moved around quite a lot while I was there. The nurse did however say that I had large amounts of Ketones in my urine, which means that my body isn't getting getting enough fuel and is basically eating muscle to keep itself going. So I am officially under medical orders to eat more - which is great - however it's a tricky thing to balance with the heartburn. I eat too much and it hurts; I don't eat enough and it might harm the baby - my pain is worth it to ensure I have a healthy baby to love in 3 months time :)

I'm 6 months into my pregnancy now, and although I'm totally calm and relaxed (almost looking forward to) the experience of labour, and obviously having my baby here, I'm really starting to worry that I'm running out of time to get all my PhD work done as theres still so much to do and such a small amount of time left to do it in. I find myself thinking that maybe I have taken on to much by thinking I can still do it and be a mum, but I know I'm not the only person in this situation and I worked so so hard to get to this point, that I'd be foolish to even think about the what ifs, or to give it up. I will always have the option to take some time out of uni - it does mean that my funding stops - but it's an option that will always be there and will give me time to spend with my child so I don't ever feel guilty about having a career too.

Babys first holiday (kind of)

We're back :) actually we got back on friday but I've been really struggling to motivate myself to do anything since we returned - I spent most of the weekend in and out of bed, we were both shattered from travelling back home.

We left home on the wednesday night and got the train down to Gatwick where we checked our bags in and then stayed at the hotel there overnight. We got up at a much later time than we would have done had we not checked in the night before, and had breakfast in the airport before the flight left at 10am. 8.5 hrs later we arrived in Barbados, they are 5 hours behind so it was mid afternoon by the time we got to the hotel. Pretty much straight away we were on the beach enjoying the sunshine. It was a little cloudy but still beautiful and hot. Our room was lovely, on the ground floor right by the beach, and so quiet. All we could hear was the sea lapping the shore outside our window, and we had a little patio we could sit on. I took to sitting there in the morning, between 6am and about 7.30, getting the first sun of the day and reading my book while He slept some more.

On Friday, we went into Bridgetown, the island capital, for some shopping and to have lunch o the harbour. We were both determined to eat local food and had lots of fresh fruit, grilled king fish, fried flying fish, plantain and cou-cou (a bit like polenta) during the week. We were all inclusive, but He didn't go overboard on the drinking. I really enjoyed not being able to drink - I probably had the healthiest week I've had in a long time, what with all the fresh fruit, no chocolate, swimming, walking and salt exfoliating from the sea. Everyone said I looked great when we got back, and even He commented on how good my skin was looking. I certainly need to lay off the chocolate now we're home! I seem to have got through the whole holiday with very little heartburn, and since we got home its come back. I think its caused by dairy, as I've and things like cheese, yoghurt and chocolate since getting back that I wasn't eating on holiday. I think the baby is trying to tell mummy it wants to be fed some better food!!

On the friday evening, a tropical storm warning was issued for the island. There was a bit of rain during the day but by the evening the clouds had really gathered and it wasn't looking too nice. The storm hit around 11pm and we lost electricity at some point during the night. I woke early on saturday, about 5am, as the wind was strong enough to wake me up. I sat by the door and watched the storm get worse until He woke up and there was eventually enough of a lull for us to run up fro some food. We spent much of the day in the room reading, leaving only to eat - the staff were amazing, managing to put on three hot meals for us using the most basic of equipment.

By sunday morning, the storm had passed and we heard from our neighbours that it had been upgraded to a Hurricane and was on its way to St Lucia. Tomas had wind speeds of 65mph as it crossed Barbados and left significant damage across the island. Lots of buildings lost their roofs, trees were uprooted, power lines came down and we heard later in the week that people on the west coast had been without electricity and water for 4 days as a result. We had no power for 36 hours maximum and never lost water, and the damage was pretty minimal for us as we were the first bit of the island to get the storm.

Finally on monday the weather started to clear up and we were treated to some sunshine :) We walked into Oistins, the closest town, just for something to do and encountered a local who took us along the pier to feed the turtles. It was lovely to see and got us even more excited for our trip the next day. We spent tuesday out on a catamaran snorkelling with turtles and over shipwrecks. That was really special, something I won't ever forget. Wednesday and much of thursday were spent on the beach and in the sea, before we left at 3.30pm on thursday afternoon.

It was such a relaxing holiday, despite the storm, and gave us the time we needed to spend together, enjoying one anothers company, actually talking about things without the distractions of work and laptops. It sounds soppy but it felt like I was getting to know him all over again and I hope we can continue with that now we're back home :)

Bump has got big now, I can't even pretend to hide it anymore - not that I was anyway! The baby moves around all the time now and I'm just about figuring out its routine. While we were away, it kicked hard enough for Him to actually feel it, which was really really special. Hes taking much more of an interest now and is saying that he will be there for the birth, which is amazing. I really want him to be, especially as the birthing programme I've chosen places a huge emphasis on the role of the birth partner in the whole process and how it can really help strengthen the bond between and couple and their baby. He's even agreed to read the book I've got which is a huge step for him.

Speaking of huge steps, yesterday he texted me to say that we should spend the evening looking at baby things online together. It sounds so insignificant when I say it, but for him thats a huge deal. It shows me that he's really accepting that its happening now and knows that we need to start preparing for the babys arrival. We spent a couple of hours looking at pushchairs and cots and various other things - I think he was a little confused by it all but we've found the pushchair of our dreams and the perfect cot and have researched lots of other things too like door bouncers, changing mats and bedding. I'm going to ask mum if she can get us the pushchair for my christmas present, and will ask dad to get us the cot and mattress - we wont need it til the baby is older but we agreed that we would get it soon and can always assemble it nearer the time. I'm so excited to start buying big things now - I've got a drawer full of babygrows and toys and nappies and muslin squares already but nothing big and significant that really makes me feel like theres actually going to be a baby in our house. Two of my friends have just had babies and it makes me even more excited about seeing mine :)

I am however, really struggling to motivate myself back into uni work. I have looked at some stuff and printed lots of things to read but not really done anything yet. I am however going to visit a friend in Liverpool tomorrow so I'll have plenty of time on the train to get some reading done and that'll get me geared up fro doing lots of work. I think I'm just going to enjoy having the house to myself today and the opportunity to relax some more and feel the baby wriggling about.

Another scan

Yesterday we went for our 20 week scan (even though I think i'm actually 22 weeks but never mind) which is called the foetal anomoly scan. Its the one when you can find out the sex, but is also really important as it allows the sonographer to take a really good look at the baby and all its organs and measure lots of things to see if theres any problems or complications. It was a bit scary going in as I was worried there could be a problem, but my fears were unnecessary as our baby is perfectly healthy with everything in the right place.

The baby was lying with its feet near my belly button and its head facing downwards, as if it were in the right position for birth, which made it a bit tricky for the lady to get some of the measurements, especially the head circumference. I though she was going to have to put her little wand somewhere other than on my belly to see it, but luckily all was fine. We saw its brain (very weird) as she measured bits of that, and its spine, its bones in its legs and arms, its kidneys. liver and stomach and its little heart beating away. Its tummy had amniotic fluid in it, which is how you can see where it is coz the fluid shows up as a little black blob. Most of what was saw was a bit blurry and we would't have known what it was without her labelling it on the screen as she tool the different pictures. Watching its little heart was lovely though, made it all a bit more real.

The picture we got wasn't great, and like last time, what we could see on the screen was much better than reflected in the picture. It's taken me quite a while to figure out what everything is this time, but I'm just about there...

You can see its head quite easily, with its little nose, and lips and its ear on the side. Just in front of its mouth are its hands, I think the baby might be sucking its thumb, but I can't really tell. Its body looks a bit odd in the picture, I think it might have been to do with the angle of the baby in relation to the ultrasound wand, but the black blob in the middle is definitely its tummy, with the fluid inside it. This is what my belly looks like now... it literally popped out overnight!!

Yesterday I sent my literature review and essay to my supervisor so I'm enjoying having a bit of a break today. We're meeting on monday to discuss them so at least I still get a couple of days to tweak my essay before I hand it in. We go to Barbados in 5 days, and although I was hoping not to take any work with me, I'm meeting my supervisor 4 days after we get back, so I will need to at least do some reading on the train and plane. I am NOT doing any once we get there though. I plan on swimming, sunbathing, walking down the beach and eating lots of freshly caught local fish.

I think it will do us good to get away from everything for a few days, no computers, no work, no stress, and it might give us the opportunity to talk about lots of things to do with the baby and how we're going to make it all work, because its become quite apparent to me that we both have very different ideas when it comes to me returning to uni, the baby going to nursery, how we will share the responsibility etc, so we really need to get it all sorted and try to prevent arguments further down the line. It's just what we need to really get us talking properly, as we've never found it very easy to communicate. I'm really looking forward to going - not so much the coming back and having to get back into all my stressful uni work, but I shouldn't complain. It'll all be worth it once I've got our baby in my arms :)

Drowning in Work

Well. last week was hectic to say the least. It began with 4 days of lectures, 10-5 each day, with reading to do every night in preparation for the next day. despite feeling like being back at school, with breaks and lunch time etc, I did quite like getting everything all over and done with in the space of a week, rather than having only a couple of hours once a week for 11 weeks. It does mean that there is technically less time to do the essay, as usually we get the titles and have 14-15 weeks to do it, even though no-one does anything until the week before anyway. The essay is due on Nov 5th, but as I'm on holiday, I have to hand it in before I go, i.e. before Oct 27th, which outs the pressure on me a little bit to get it done. Luckily, the title is a generic 'discuss your method' type question, open to interpretation and pretty easy for me to write after 12 months of research methods training. I do also have a literature review to produce for my supervisor by next friday, but that will inform part of the essay so I don't mind doing them simultaneously. It's just getting motivated to do them thats the trouble. I'm too distracted by baby stuff and crafty things that the last thing I want to do is sit and write an essay!

I met with my supervisor on friday, and he decided that in order for me to get all the work I need to do completed before the baby is born, we will have supervision every 2-3 weeks, and he will expect me to produce 5-8,000 words prior to each meeting. Yes it'll be tough, particularly as we get closer to D-day, but it needs to be done, and he's so much easier to talk to and more approachable than my supervisor last year that I don't mind really. I need someone to be a bit tough with me and keep me working, but at the same time to be a bit of a mate and understand what else is going on in my life. I'm so glad we get to work together on this project. He was such an inspiration to me at undergrad and I really want to prove to him that he was right to have faith in me then. Plus, he did his PhD in 2004, so he's not that ancient in academic terms, and it means he can still relate to what the process is like and understand just how daunting it is, even without anything else going on your life. I think we're gonna make a really good team and it's going to be a good few years working together - maybe it'll lead to new projects once I'm a post-doc, who knows.

Speaking of crafty things, I exhibited, with my future business partner, at our first ever craft show this weekend which was a hue success. We sold lots of our decoupaged frames, handmade cards and customised furniture, and got tons of positive feedback from other stall holders who commented on how professional we we're for first timers. The customer response was great too and we might have got ourselves a stall at a bigger christmas fayre next month :) We were so pleased coz its all just been a bit of a hobby for us the last few months and we said the night before that if we sold anything we'd be happy and if we didnt we'd carry on just doing it for friends and family etc, but we made way more than we expected and are now planning a website, and an expansion into wedding stationary too :-)

Bump is growing steadily. Still not quite obvious to the outside world that theres a baby in there and not just a lot of cakes and chocolate! I have put on weight elsewhere though, its not just my belly and boobs that are rapidly expanding. Unfortunately I've gained weight on my bum and thighs, but I always expected to as they are my problem areas and I've never been able to keep weight off from there, even when I eat healthily. He took quite a cool picture of my belly the other day with our bedside lamp shining on it. I think its quite arty...

... it's just a shame about my horrendously unattractive maternity bra! I've decided that later on in my pregnancy, I want to get either a portrait done, in really soft colours, of just my body, no legs or head - or to get a series of black and white photos taken of my bump, for me to keep as a memory of my pregnancy, and even to put on the wall of the nursery with the first pictures of the baby. I might suggest it to Him to organise as a christmas or birthday present for me perhaps.

We have our foetal anomaly scan next week, where they take lots of measurements and look at the baby really carefully to make sure theres no signs of developmental problems or illnesses - obviously some things we wouldn't know about until it was born anyway, but if there are any problems, they will tell us then. I'm sure there won't be but it's still an important step to cross. We won't be finding out the sex of the baby. He is determined to wait until the baby is born. I wanted to know to begin with but the further the pregnancy gets, the more I like the idea of waiting. As long as the baby is ok, and I'm ok then I couldn't be happier :-)

Being a PhD student

After last weeks induction day (which was fairly dull and could have easily been communicate through an email) I've officially started lecture as a PhD student this week.

I've had lectures 10-5 everyday this week, with an hour for lunch and the final day is tomorrow. The module was 'Research Design and Philosophy' which I have done as part of my MA course, but my supervisors thought it would be a good idea for me to take this particular module, so I can meet the cohort and get used to the Business school language and way of teaching. If i'm honest, I've found the module actually lacks content, despite the 6 hours of teaching a day we've been having. If you were to ask me to explain what I'd actually been taught, I'd really struggle because, with the exception of a half hour discussion of ontology and epistemology on monday morning, theres been very little content that I could safely say was either philosophy, or research design. Theres been a lot of 'this is what I did from the speakers we've had, but very little discussion (or explanation) of the method, let alone the methodology, or any issues that may have come about as part of the research. All a bit annoying really. I'm certainly glad I already have solid training and understanding in this otherwise right now I'd be feeling totally lost and overwhelmed and scared!!

The actual cohort I'm with seem ok. I've got to know a few of them already, and there seems to be a little group of 4 of us that have lunch together and naturally gravitated towards one another. Two are in CLAHRC with me, and the other lady shares my office, so I'll be spending quite a lot of time with her I imagine. I'm pretty sure I'm the youngest, although some of the international students may be my age, though I'm not sure. I don't suppose I'll interact with many of the cohort though, as there are only 3 of us in my particular office, and we're in a building just off campus. That coupled with the limited amount of teaching time I'm having this year, means I'd better get used to my own company!

One of the ladies I've got to know quite well is a midwife (very convenient!) and after lengthy discussions with her, it transpires that I'm actually half way though my pregnancy, not 18 weeks as the ultrasound people thought. Its to do with a pregnancy being 40 weeks from the first day of your last period, which includes a period of about 2 weeks where you are not actually pregnant, but is when conception is likely to take place, thus the baby will be 38 weeks old if you give birth on your due date, not 40. This means that when you have a 12 week scan the baby is only 10 weeks old, as was the case when I had mine. However, when I went for mine, they readjusted my dates by 2 weeks, as if I hadn't had the latent period at the beginning. So instead of my original due date of february 22nd, they have March 5th in my records. This never sat right with me though, and both mum and I have continued to think that mid february is probably about the right time. So, to get to the point, the midwife on my course has basically said to go along with the hospital for their benefit, to operate on the basis that my due date is more likely to be mid Feb. That way, if the baby isn't here by then, they won't be rushing to induce me, as according to them, I'll have another few weeks anyway!

Long story short, I'm half way. Four and a half months done, four and a half left to go. And still no really obvious bump, though I'm fairly certain, by the time we go on holiday, it'll be more obvious. Speaking of the holiday, we go 3 weeks today, and He can't find his passport, which I've been asking him to find for bloody ages. He keeps saying he knew where it was and that I've moved lots of his stuff so now he can't find it. Of course its my fault. It's got nothing to do with his lack of organisation, or even a basic ability to put stuff away instead of leaving them lying on the floor. I think he's had it in his bag and it's fallen out when he's taken something else out, or he's dropped it when he's been out. I've certainly not seen it since we moved house, and if I had, I certainly wouldn't have moved or hidden it. I would have put it somewhere safe, probably with the travel documents, so we didn't lose it and have to fork out £12o for an emergency replacement!!

The Bump begins to grow

This week I am 17 weeks pregnant and I decided it was time for a new belly picture...

My bump is certainly looking more pronounced, and is starting to be obvious through my clothes. My colleagues at work have started to notice it, and some of the regular customers who know that Im pregnant too. One of the ladies who comes in several times a week has a daughter due the same week as me, so its interesting to hear whats happening in her pregnancy in relation to mine. She felt movement around the same time as me, and apparently has now felt a couple of kicks too. I may have done last night but I'm not 100% sure. I felt what I thought may have been a kick and then the same thing in the same place a couple of seconds later so it may have been - but we shall wait and see if anything else happens.

Theres nothing else much to report this week. I've been preparing for a craft show that my friend and I are doing in a couple of weeks, so I'm constantly covered in wallpaper paste and ripping up bits of magazines. I'll get organised and take some pictures of what I've been doing before I (hopefully) sell it all. Last day at work the day after tomorrow, and this time next week I will have had my first day of lectures as a PhD student. I'm yet to have my MA results tho. Hopefully I'll get those next week too.

We get our next scan in just under 4 weeks, and then a week after that we go to Barbados - well, I say we, it might just be me on my own as He can't find his passport and seems to be doing nothing about getting a replacement. I do quite like the idea of going on my own though. Might do me good to get a little time away from everything and relax before the frantic PhD work begins and we (mainly I) start preparing for the babys arrival.

I'm going to start exercising regularly next week, and when I'm back from Barbados I plan on starting pregnancy Yoga classes, and booking myself onto antenatal classes. My diary's gonna be pretty choc-a-block with things to do lading up to the birth, but I'm determined to keep busy, keep active and keep healthy for the rest of my pregnancy. As I keep telling people, pregnancy isn't an illness and theres no reason why I shouldn't do anything I'd do normally...

Preparing

We've both started looking at furniture for the babys room - which will be half nursery, half my study - although the baby will be rooming in with us until its 3-4 months old. We've both separately looked through the Ikea catalogue - I found it open on the cot page the other day even though I hadn't mentioned anything to Him about looking. When I asked which cot he liked, he pointed to EXACTLY the same one I liked. How cool is that?! So unless either of us change our minds, or find something better, I think this is the cot the baby will be having...

Isn't it awesome?

My little sister seems to be enjoying shopping for her future niece/nephew. Every few days she comes to see me with a new babygrow, or outfit, or something she has seen that was on offer and had to be bought. Yesterday it was a set of nappies and babywipes (with a free hat) which has been added to the pile of nappies and wipe I got on offer at the weekend (and I got a free changing bag too!) Lots of my friends have said that they want to get things for the baby but they want to wait until they know if its a boy or a girl before they buy anything. We will be waiting until the baby is born though, so they've got a bit of a wait.

I'm at the stage of pregnancy now, where to me I look pregnant, and He is definitely noticing a daily change in the size of my tummy, however, when dressed, I just look like I've SERIOUSLY been overdoing the cakes and I'm getting really self conscious about my tummy. Luckily the weather is cool enough for me to start wearing jumpers that hide my tummy, and really loose fitting vest tops that cover all sins and make me feel much better about myself. Give it a few more weeks though and I think cake belly will most certainly look like a bump - then I might be able to get a seat on the bus for once!

I'm feeling the baby move more and more everyday. I notice it when I go to bed, I think thats because I'm relatively relaxed and less busy so I actually notice whats going on. Most of the time I'm so stressed out at work that I don't really notice whats going on with my body as I just want to get the day over and done with and get home! I do love being able to feel it though. It like me and the baby have our own little secret that no-one else knows about and no-one else is aware of when its happening. I find myself randomly smiling whenever I feel it - I must look a bit crazy to other people having this little grin spread across my face from time to time. The other half has taken to lying with his head on my tummy when we're on the sofa listening to all the gurgling sounds as the baby moves around. He's actually started referring to me as Gurgle now, which is quite sweet really. He's definitely getting more involved in the pregnancy and doesn't look terrified when I mention the baby or anything to do with it anymore :-)

Yesterday I registered at uni so I am now an official PhD student, which is somewhat terrifying as it now starting to hit home just how much work I've got to do, and how quickly time is passing. Im really excited though as it means I can finally get started on something I've been working toward for the last 8 years, and I can't wait to get my teeth into the project, get back into the swing of lectures and reading and just generally researching again. I've really missed it the last few weeks - months even as I don't feel like I did much of that during my MA, which is a shame.

Only 4 more shifts left at work. Can't bloody wait to leave that place - and I'm so looking forward to saturday night as we've got two of our very good friends who we've not seen in over a year coming to visit :-) god knows where we're going to put them...