Tuesday, 22 February 2011

I hope it happens soon...

The last couple of days have been unbearable. I've been so unnecessarily emotional - all over the place, more so than at any other point in my pregnancy, or ever for that matter. Its like the worst PMT multiplied by about 10.
I had my last supervision yesterday and very nearly emailed to cancel because I felt really on edge about leaving the house. Walking to the shop at the end of the road is fine, but I really didn't feel comfortable going al the way to uni. Luckily I wasn't there that long, and supervision went well so I'm glad I went. I slept all afternoon & then spent a couple of hours at the neighbours house, mostly laughing, but I had this underlying uncomfortable feeling. Its hard to put into words, but I didn't feel relaxed - like I could sense something was about to happen.
I spent most of the evening on the sofa feeling fed up and angry and a bit spaced out, like when you're coming down with something and you just don't feel right. Baby was moving SO MUCH which is great coz it obviously means its ok, but it hurts me now and I don't like it. The odd little twitch is fine, but when it feels like its using my insides as a hamster wheel it gets a bit tedious and I can't stand it. Baby pushes down on my cervix too which is very painful, makes me catch my breath a bit when it happens and scares me coz it sends shooting pains all round my bump which I don't like. I had a bath about 11ish and that made me feel a bit better - but then when I got into bed, I just cried, for about an hour and a half, for no reason whatsoever.

He was next door with his best mate having a 'last night of freedom' style drinking session and I was a bit annoyed at him coz I'd said I was feeling a bit weird and he didn't seem bothered. When he came to bed he didn't ask how I was and spent most of the night flailing his arms around, kicking out, moving around loads. He kept lying on my side of the bed pretty much pushing me out, he was snoring loads and talking in his sleep and every time I tried to roll him over, or wake him nothing worked. I tried pinching him to see of that helped, but nothing. So I had a very broken and disturbed nights sleep.

Then at about 5.30am I went to the loo and noticed evidence of 'the show' (where the mucous plug from the cervix comes away) which means that things could get going pretty soon, or it could still take 2 weeks to happen. I went back to bed feeling strange still - baby was moving so much it was impossible to tell if the tightenings in my tummy were contractions or just because of baby moving, but seeing as its now 12 hours later and nothing much has happened, I'm assuming we're not going into labour quite yet.

When he eventually woke up, I told him what had been happening and he said 'you can't be serious' before having a go at me and telling me he's too busy at work for it to happen now. Unfortunately, I can't control these things, and if it happens, it happens. I've let my student midwife know so she is now on standby just incase things get going. I'd really like them to - today was my original due date after all and it'd be great if baby could come soon as I'm so so so fed up of being grumpy and fed up and uncomfortable. I know I'm not going to get any sleep once baby is here, but the back pain will stop, the heartburn will stop, I'll be able to move around more easily and hopefully won't be feeling so on edge all the time. Its exhausting!

So everyone keep your fingers crossed that the curry I've just ordered, and the hot bath I'm having later start to get things really going and who knows, maybe His dad (who turns 50 today) will get a grandchild for his birthday.

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